The First Lie

 

 

            “Are you okay?”

            It was a simple enough question. And yet instantly time stopped and my brain was flooded with a million thoughts.

            Four years together. Four years that boiled down to this single moment. His confession was surprising but not completely unsuspected. I wasn’t a fool. I just never thought he’d admit it.

            My mind raced to hang on to the good things. The dinners. The laughter. The late night phone calls. My four years were spent telling him any thing and everything.  The first person I’d ever wanted to share all of my truths. And standing on this precipice of knowledge that I’d shared more than I ever had before with someone crushed my soul. I wanted to run away. I wanted to reject his words. I wanted to pretend nothing had changed. And yet here was his truth. His truth staring me in the eyes. His truth breaking my heart into a million pieces. His truth demanding an answer I could not give.

            What benefit was there in telling my truths any more?

             I raised my eyes. 

            “I’m fine.”