Thursday, October 30, 2014


Just a slice
A sliver
A tiny piece of heart
But slices add up 
Slivers are splinters
And tiny pieces
Can become a whole
And too late I realize there is
Nothing left to sustain me


No point in trying
Since in the pitch black no one
Can see you screaming

Wednesday, October 29, 2014


Master of deception
Father of lies
Crippling self-doubt
Mirrors don't tell true stories 
Tossed on the rocks
Left behind with only 
White cliffs as a prison
Using the rocks to smash
My hands
To make sure I can feel
Using the glass to cut
My arms
To make sure I don't 
Wanting to be seen
Wanting to be forgotten
Unsure where I belong 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014


The wind and sun burned my skin
The salt stung my eyes
And still I didn't care 
I had to stay
Until my love returned 
And now my skin doesn't feel
And my eyes no longer water
He never returned 
And I am unable leave to leave
This lighthouse 
Even though our lights
Extinguished together 

Sunday, October 26, 2014


Knees and
All hugged with
Crimson velvet
Comfort in restriction 
Peace in immobility
Only you understand 
The trust I give 
Because you're usually wrapped 
In crimson


Sitting at the edge
Feet dangling 
Toes drawing infinity symbols
In warm teal waters
Soft breeze tosses 
Jasmine my way
It's easy to imagine sitting 
Next to her when I close 
My eyes 

Saturday, October 25, 2014

NaCl H2O

The panic sets in
I won't be able to make it
Back to you
The sun's going down 
The water's going up 
Just a matter of time before
I drown in tears
I'll press my fingers to the glass
And pray you find me
Before I can't come back 

Friday, October 24, 2014


Two AM
Here's lookin at you 
I toast to a mirror
With no reflection 
Surely that girl isn't me
She's sad
She's ugly
She cries too easily
And smiles too little
She has internal scars
Carved in her wretched face
Where laugh lines
Should be 
That's what happens when
The music stops
And the muse falls dead

Thursday, October 23, 2014


Sudden desperation 
As the discovery of loss
Takes hold and becomes real
Trying to find 
That lost thing
That was precious
It took losing
To miss 
A thing taken for granted

Wednesday, October 22, 2014


The sucker punch landed
Mouth agape
She twirled on heel
And vanished away
And I realize the disbelief fell not
In that she was leaving 
But that she was even mine
To begin with once upon a time


And the tarred and blackened thing
Reached up from my soul
And wrapped its fingers
Tight upon my heart 
Squeezing until no love was
Left behind 
Squeezing until there was nothing
Left but charred imprints 
Squeezing until there was only room left
For hate 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


For death 
He creeps around the corner
Just out of sight 
But I see his scythe
I smell his decay
Easier to give in
Than keep running
My legs 
My heart
And there isn't enough glue
To put me back together

Carnie Val

She has no clue
As she sits there 
That I'm so close

A pane of glass away

She's sitting on the floor 
And looks like she's resting on the beach
Knees bent
Torso and arms making a triangle 
With the floor

And her posture would indicate 
How comfortable she is
Unless you spied the bindings

Her face is calm
Unless you noticed the tears

Her smile is serene
Unless you detected the grimace

A doll on display
The very last thing that should 
Be gawked at this 

She's beautiful

I wonder how to steal her

Make the tears belong to me instead 

Saturday, October 18, 2014


A tiny soul surrounded by 
Velvet sky 
In the galaxy 
Left behind
A single star
Burning out
Lost for 

Friday, October 17, 2014


If I see tomorrow
Should the sun rise again
Hold me close and
Remind me you missed me
The eternal night
Must lift eventually 
And nothing craves dark
Like molds


The apothecary is closed
This time of year
Dust and webs
Cover the vials and potions 
Herbs have long gone stale
It's winter in this heart
And nothing grows in the cold
Maybe the return of spring will
Warm and coax that which
Hides away
It's not personal
It's just that time of year 
When frost dominates love
And warmth never stood a chance

Thursday, October 16, 2014


Be The Perfect
Wife.... Cook and clean and
          Make sure your spouse is happy
Mother.... See the child is fed and 
          Clothed and never wants in life
Employee.... Never miss a deadline or
          Add to company drama
Friend.... Be available and understanding  
          In case something upends 
Person.... Never complain or let them
          See you cry 
All the perfects.
I'm set up to fail
For I can only be the 
          perfect storm.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014


Practical girl
I'm shy
Words are difficult
Beautiful girl 
I'm smitten
Feelings are tricky
Troubled girl
I'm scared
Weapons can hurt
Clueless girl
I'm yours
If you want
Everything girl
I'm nothing
Without you here

Tuesday, October 14, 2014


The ribbons of red
Fan out in all direction. 
It's not just my eyes. 
It's my feet. My hands. 
Stigmata dripping blood
For the world to see. 
Inward pain directed out, as if 
Manifestation reinforces to you
What I already know to be true. 
A thousand voices confirmed.
You don't belong here.
And I'll prove one last time 
How right they are as it becomes
Impossible to separate
Blood from bath.


A nighttime full of terrors.
Dark, twisted things
Stirring things stored away
During the light of day.
A battle with no sword.
A war with no guns.
Demons pummel 
The only spot they can: 
My charred and exposed soul.
The sun comes up and
My life depends on finding 
A new hiding spot. 

Monday, October 13, 2014


A long time ago, and
Far far away
There was a fractured girl.
Every night she prayed
Ravens would gather her up and
Take her away. 
Hurt and abandoned, she 
Optimistically held onto hope that the
Ugliness she felt would fall away.
Giants and lovers would 
Hold her close and 
Take the wretched darkness away.


That look you give.
You know the one.
Eyes full of fire that
Threaten to smolder my soul.
A look of promise
That devours sanity. 
Brand me again in places 
No one sees. 

Friday, October 10, 2014


Falling into the blackberry brambles
I knew going in would hurt
And I fell into it anyway 
The blackberries were too sweet
To ignore 
And now each thorn I pull out
Leaves a bigger and bigger hole
In my side
In my flesh
In my soul
Until all my tears and 
All my blood are
Mingled on the
Hardening autumn ground
Left for next season's benefit
Or for someone else to walk over

Thursday, October 9, 2014


It's impossible 
To tell which carries more weight

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


I get to stare out
From my glass box.
Everyday I see 
People glancing from the corner
Of their eye
As they run to work.
Children pressing fingers and noses
To the grimy glass to gawk.
Ladies holding hands with
Gentlemen as they stroll 
And make their wish lists.
And all I can do 
Is stand
And look at a world outside 
That's so beautiful 
Plastic tears stain my
Wax face. 


It's impossible 
To mourn something that never
Existed you Fool. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

The Clockwork Heart

All the clicks and clacks
The gentle whirs and stirs
Mesmerized by the tiny gears
As they spin their magic
The clockwork heart
It beats and ticks
And carries on
Never stop little rabbit
For fear of rust
Run and run
And run again
And don't you dare break
You'll be tossed in the trash 

Friday, October 3, 2014


A word
Shouted into nothing.
It bounces and echoes 
In the canyon of the universe.
Eventually one word
Becomes cacophony 
And the noise becomes
Ears left bleeding and deaf
And I'm one-fifth less a person
When it comes to finding you

Thursday, October 2, 2014


Skipping stones
On bits of broken glass.
The city is dirty
And ragged.
The smell of industry and oil.
The washed out color palette. 
Don't share.
Take what you can.
Steal when you need to.
No one is here to help you
While you escape the rain
Under the trusses.
Fend for yourself 
Forgotten Soul
While the city tries to
Retch you out.