Chapter One

One singular act of kindness. A simple hello. Someone who took a chance. And I find myself where I am. And it's odd that I should be here. But comfortable. Familiar. And it comes easy, the words, when they didn't before. If they seem rambling, it's because my hand can't keep up with my brain. And I so badly want to record every thought, every feeling, because they may be important later. One never knows. And that's the beauty and tragedy of life, isn't it? That we don't know. But to understand where here is and what now means, there needs to be a beginning, right? But there's not. I, of all people, understand more clearly that things are set in motion before the beginning of a story in order to create a situation where a story could even be told. Again, the rambling. Just know that it's all been done before, and it will all happen again as if for the first time. Love is a funny thing, that. After all, it is the Great Muse. It makes us laugh and weep, curious and cautious, angry and joyful. And sometimes all of these at once. But I've found you this go-around. I'm certain I've found you. And you're too far away to know or care. I tread lightly and carefully, because the chance exists that I am wrong. God help me as I start this journey -- from the diary of Ellie Callaghan

She doesn't know I exist. She can't know. And she'll never know, because I'll never tell her. The last one was hard. Too hard. I can't do it again. This stupid game of leap-frogging through time. Linear hide and seek. And I've found her. I'm certain I've found her. Thank God for the distance between us. I can't risk her discovering me. It would destroy us both...... -- from the diary of Alistair Shaw