Love Left Blind Behind

Turn it off

You'll get over it

A million other 

Dismissive phrases 

But I've grieved for so long

I've forgotten that anything

Else exists

Then I wonder who it is

That really died

You or me

The thought

Becoming irrelevant

Because the outcome

Remains the same 

Sistine

That inner calm

I used to know

That peace 

That confidence

Instantly

Reduced to ash

The bitter, acrid stench

Of lies and deceit 

Makes me vomit 

Over and over

Purging whatever feeling

I had left

I'm stranded here

No one

Could possibly want

The empty shell

This masterpiece you created 

The Inevitable Abandonment

Unwanted

Unneeded

Shelved

That's what happens to 

Ragdolls 

When they dare to love 

Little boys who lie

About forever

Finality

Will there be a time

I can remember and 

Not bleed

Will I ever just

Forget it hurts

Will I be able to put

One foot in front of

The other 

Without the bed of coals

The scarf says yes

The bullet says yes

The razor says yes

The fumes say yes 

The bottle says yes

The pills say yes

My soul finally listens to them and

Whispers back 

Yes 

Hostage

Haunted 

Shriveled husk 

The disease

Eating away

Gnawing

Leaving nothing behind

Be proud Dr Frankenstein

Of the creature you made

Look at it and know

You're the father of despair

The parent of worthlessness 

The mastermind of a broken soul

No one could ever love

A thing as hideous

As what stares back at me

Reflected in

My prison windowpane  

The Empty Shell

I wish you would have 

Killed me since I'm not really 

Living anyway 

Winter

Still lost

Still struggling

This abandoned heart

Still unable

To abandon its promise 

I swore to love

For always

Regardless of whether 

You felt the same

Regardless of whether

You want it or not

My promise stands